My Car Key

When I was a kid, my dad bought a new
car and drove us to church one Sunday. It
was a prophetic service and our pastor
was being used by God that day to
deliver people from poverty. Suddenly,
our pastor looked at my dad and said, "Daddy Vicky, God is set to
bless you!"
My mum jumped up and shouted
excitedly, "Amen!!!"
My dad was excited too. The pastor then
came closer, placed his hand on my dad's head and prayed for him. As our pastor
turned to climb the alter, God told him
something. He stopped, looked at my dad
and said, "Daddy Vicky, you bought a new
car last week?"
"Yes sir." my dad responded with much surprise on his face.
Then our pastor said, "God said I should
tell you to sow your CAR KEY into my
life."
I was shocked that my dad did not argue
with the pastor, he

DEFINE THE WORD KISS

What Is a " Kiss " .???
In Maths :- " Kiss is the shortest distance
between the 2 Lips "
___________________________
In Biology :- " Kiss is just the exchange of germs
from one mouth to another"
______________________________
In Chemistry :- " Kiss is a process of
testing
the ph of the lips " _______________ _______________
In Physics :- " It's a process of charging a
human body "
___________________________
In Computer :- " Kiss is a local area
network in which 2 bodies are connected without
a
data cable "
____________________________
In Economics :-

WATCHING FOOTBALL with some wives

can be very frustrating & annoying !
Wife : femi, who's that guy? Is that Chris
Brown?
Husband: Chris Brown? No now, that's
Theo Walcott!! Wife: a footballer or a musician because
the name looks sweet
Husband : a footballer
Wife: Hey! What's that yellow card for?
Husband: It's a warning to a player; and
red means the player must stop playing and leave the pitch.
Wife: Ohhh! It's something similar to a
traffic light: Yellow - warning, Red - Stop.
Husband: Yeah, yeah sure.. You are
right!!
Wife: What about the green card? Husband: Ohhh

Moral Lesson

An old man saw a scorpion drowning and
decided to pull it out from the water. He
calmly extended his hand to reach the
creature. When he did, the scorpion
stung him.
With the effect of the pain, the old man let go the creature and it fell back into
the water. The man realizing that the
scorpion was drowning again, got back
and tried to rescue it but then again it
stung him. He let go of it again.
A young boy standing by, approached the old man and said, “Excuse me Sir, you
are going to hurt yourself trying to save
the evil-vicious creature, why do you
insist?
Don’t you realize that each time you try to
help the scorpion, it stings you?” The man replied, “The nature of the
scorpion is to sting and mine is to help.
My nature will not change in helping the
scorpion.”
So the man thought for a while and used
a leaf

Akpors: The Exam

During the exam, Akpors kept looking
under the table, then he would write on
the answer sheet. His teacher saw
him doing that & thought he was
copying. When collecting the paper
after the exam.. Teacher: I’m gonna minus 10 marks. Akpors: Hiiaaa!! Why sir? Teacher: For copying. Akpors: How do you know that I was
copying? Teacher: I saw you looking under the
table. Akpors: *laughing* Question 9 said,

Two Boko Haram Boys

Two boko Haram boys, Habib & Akpo
are making letter bombs. Habib: “I’m not sure whether I put
enough explosive in this envelope
before I sealed it.” Akpo: “Well, then open it and look.” Habib: “But if I open it, it will explode!” Akpos:

Facial

Akpos sat in a bar and was very
moody. OChuko goes over and asks;
‘Akpos, wetin happen?’. A very sad looking Akpos replied: ‘I
borrow Rukewe N2million to do facial
surgery, and now I no fit

RACK YOUR BRAINS!!!

On 28th feb 2012 (tuesday) a robber
went to rob
a bank, he threatened to kill the cashier
if he
didn't open the vault, the cashier told him the
vault is not opened with keys but a
password, you
can't kill me since i am the only one who
knows
the password and every day the password is
different The robber