L A U G H ! L A U G H !! L A U G H ! ! !

One day, Ben went to church to pray.
God appeared and asked "Ben what do you wish for"?
Ben replied "God, please I want to drive a big car with plenty of girls in it"
God exclaimed. "Amen, may your wish be done".
Currently, Ben is now

MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH AN ONLINE GIRL

Girls are cheap.
I have tried to convince this girl on facebook and BBM to visit me but she always tell me that she is busy. Her profile
pictures was always tempting her curves, her boobs name it everything make sense.
I decided to take it to another level at my own expense. . .
Hope you know what I mean?
So at last I was able to decode her to give me her number, I called her immediately to confirm if it was really her number.
We talked for a while and I discovered that she just lives a stone throw from my place, I said within me;
"Kai see food oo"
As an award winning womanizer convincing her was just like counting A,B,C.
She promised me that she will visit me next week Thursday.
Thursday seemed too far but that was just the price to enter her honey pot.
Thursday finally came, I called her around 7:30 just to confirm if she was still coming. She said

Laughing time

Laugh wan kill me...
A psychiatrist wanted to know how many of his
patients have been cured of madness, so he
assembled them in a classroom and drew a big car
on the board.
He then told the class that if anyone could push the car on the board, that person would
receive a gift of N20,000 and would be free to go
home.
On hearing this, they all rushed to the board to
push the car except one young lady who remained
in her seat at the back smiling. The psychiatrist with joy and excitement on his face
seeing that somebody has been cured of madness
went to her and asked,

Job Interview. MP

OFFICER:- What is your name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- In full please
Monday:- Monday Paul
OFFICER:- Your father's name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What does that mean?
Monday:- Matthias Paul
OFFICER:- Your native place?
Monday : M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What's that?
Monday:- Mkpuma Province

Admission

I can stop laugh oooo..A student had failed
JAMB 5 times..
One day,she
  traveled2 visit her friend in Osun State University, she
fell
sick & was admitted to a hospital there. She later called her mum & said...
SHE: Hello ma..
MUM: That place is silent,where are u?
SHE: I'm in OSU.. MUM: thanks to God oo
SHE: I was admitted.. MUM: thanks you Jesus you 

have been admitted 

Vacancy! Vacancy!! Vacancy!!!

Are u 18yrs & above? Do u have a valid Int'l passport or a voter's card? Can u speak English & any other language? Are u looking for a 9am-3pm job with a monthly salary of #850,000 and a weekly allowance of 150,000? No work
during weekends & u only have to work half day on Fridays?
.
.
.
.
.

Gorillas vs Mr. & Mrs Akpors

Mr. and Mrs. Akpors at a Zoo walk past a
gorilla enclosure.
Mrs. Akpors: Dear, do u know that gorillas
are
the only animals which resemble men in
their behavior? Look, seeing that no one is looking, I’ll
expose one of my breasts to it & see how
horny it gets just like men
do.
Mrs. Akpors then exposes one of her
breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla gets excited
and
grabs the bars
of the enclosure as if it wanted to break
free. ‘U See,’ says Mrs. Akpors, ‘Now, I
know why
you react the way you do; men can’t
control
their animal
instincts just like gorillas can’t, Men and
gorillas are d same.’ Akpors replied: ‘Now expose both breasts
and
let us see what happens.’
Mrs. Akpors exposes both breasts to the
gorilla and it gets very excited and is now
desperately trying to escape from the enclosure.
Akpors says: ‘This is incredible, now, pull
your
skirt up, turn around and expose your
bum and let us see
what happens!’ Mrs Akpors pulls her skirt up, turns
around
with her bum to the gorilla, which by now
was extremely

True or False

Saw this Post somewhere..... Don’t know
how true it is shaaa.
I leave you to judge!!!!
- Girls called SANDRA too dey do over-
sabi..
- Girls called IJEOMA sabi do shakara.. - Girls called JULIET are usually slim..
- Girls called ADA too dey Fat..
- Girls called ONYINYE sabi dupe guys..
- Girls called CHINENYE too dey fine..
- Girls called AMAKA sabi gossip..
- Girls called NNENNA are trustworthy.. - Girls called JENNIFER sabi book..
- Girls called CHINELO sabi form holy
holy
- Girls called MAUREEN are over
demanding.
- Girls called UJU too like money.. -

My Car Key

When I was a kid, my dad bought a new
car and drove us to church one Sunday. It
was a prophetic service and our pastor
was being used by God that day to
deliver people from poverty. Suddenly,
our pastor looked at my dad and said, "Daddy Vicky, God is set to
bless you!"
My mum jumped up and shouted
excitedly, "Amen!!!"
My dad was excited too. The pastor then
came closer, placed his hand on my dad's head and prayed for him. As our pastor
turned to climb the alter, God told him
something. He stopped, looked at my dad
and said, "Daddy Vicky, you bought a new
car last week?"
"Yes sir." my dad responded with much surprise on his face.
Then our pastor said, "God said I should
tell you to sow your CAR KEY into my
life."
I was shocked that my dad did not argue
with the pastor, he

DEFINE THE WORD KISS

What Is a " Kiss " .???
In Maths :- " Kiss is the shortest distance
between the 2 Lips "
___________________________
In Biology :- " Kiss is just the exchange of germs
from one mouth to another"
______________________________
In Chemistry :- " Kiss is a process of
testing
the ph of the lips " _______________ _______________
In Physics :- " It's a process of charging a
human body "
___________________________
In Computer :- " Kiss is a local area
network in which 2 bodies are connected without
a
data cable "
____________________________
In Economics :-

WATCHING FOOTBALL with some wives

can be very frustrating & annoying !
Wife : femi, who's that guy? Is that Chris
Brown?
Husband: Chris Brown? No now, that's
Theo Walcott!! Wife: a footballer or a musician because
the name looks sweet
Husband : a footballer
Wife: Hey! What's that yellow card for?
Husband: It's a warning to a player; and
red means the player must stop playing and leave the pitch.
Wife: Ohhh! It's something similar to a
traffic light: Yellow - warning, Red - Stop.
Husband: Yeah, yeah sure.. You are
right!!
Wife: What about the green card? Husband: Ohhh

Moral Lesson

An old man saw a scorpion drowning and
decided to pull it out from the water. He
calmly extended his hand to reach the
creature. When he did, the scorpion
stung him.
With the effect of the pain, the old man let go the creature and it fell back into
the water. The man realizing that the
scorpion was drowning again, got back
and tried to rescue it but then again it
stung him. He let go of it again.
A young boy standing by, approached the old man and said, “Excuse me Sir, you
are going to hurt yourself trying to save
the evil-vicious creature, why do you
insist?
Don’t you realize that each time you try to
help the scorpion, it stings you?” The man replied, “The nature of the
scorpion is to sting and mine is to help.
My nature will not change in helping the
scorpion.”
So the man thought for a while and used
a leaf

Akpors: The Exam

During the exam, Akpors kept looking
under the table, then he would write on
the answer sheet. His teacher saw
him doing that & thought he was
copying. When collecting the paper
after the exam.. Teacher: I’m gonna minus 10 marks. Akpors: Hiiaaa!! Why sir? Teacher: For copying. Akpors: How do you know that I was
copying? Teacher: I saw you looking under the
table. Akpors: *laughing* Question 9 said,

Two Boko Haram Boys

Two boko Haram boys, Habib & Akpo
are making letter bombs. Habib: “I’m not sure whether I put
enough explosive in this envelope
before I sealed it.” Akpo: “Well, then open it and look.” Habib: “But if I open it, it will explode!” Akpos: