which word can you remember!

Question of the day

Will u dump ur girlfriend or boyfriend for £100,000,000?

John the Sharp guy

John went for a birthday party. He sat close to one beautiful girl.
Suddenly a guy came to the girl and started toasting her. “Hello angel, Am Dave. You look so charming. You are my spec. Please can I have you phone number?”
“Am sorry I don’t give out my numbers to strangers. That’s final” replied the girl.
John smiled inside himself.

Few minute later, the same guy returned again. “Baby I mean no harm, just give me a chance to show you how much I can care for you. Your phone number is just ok for me”
The girl shouted “Leave me alone! Am not interested”
The guy felt so embarrassed and left.

John smiled again and thought of making business with it.
John approached the guy outside and say “Just $100 Naira and the girl’s phone number will enter your phone”.

The Guy: “Really?”
John: “Yes”
“Ok! Am in” says the guy

John collected the guy`s phone number and went back to his seat. “You know what, I must say you are such a decent girl. I just wish all girls are like you. Says John to the girl
The girl felt so happy and say “Thank you dear.”
“I think you deserve a gift for that”
“Really?”
“Yea, just give me your number and I will send you the gift”
“There you go again.”
“No! no! I mean your bank account number. I will like to transfer $2,000 to you”
The girl: “Waoooo! You mean it?”
John: “Yea”
“ Thanks you so much. May God reward you.”
“Its ok, Just text your account number to this phone number ”
He gives the girl the guy’s phone number and goes outside to collect his $100.

One word for John

HOW TO KNOW YOU ARE AN UGLY GIRL

1. Ugly girls will tag 95
people in a pic and still get 2 likes, Probably
from her family members.

2. When a group of
girls wanna take a pic,
they hand over the
camera to her. if you're
that girl, then you're ugly.

3. If no guy has ever
paid your transport fare in a public bus,
then you
have to do something about your looks..

4. Whenever there is drama rehearsals in
your church, they always select you to play
the role
of a witch, vampire or
demon.

5. Most girls with
sweet names on facebook like "so cute" ,"pinky Berry",                                                                                                     "dope Diva Queen", "Nicky" are usually very ugly

True or False..............................

ATTENTION

• You collect babe number, you use "chick" save the number name. I beg  Shey her mama is fowl ?
.
• You buy suya & your  woman chop all the meat finish, you con they smile they chop the onions. Abeg you be vegetarian??
.
 • You dey with your guy & you dey receive different kinds of phone calls every 5 min, yet you dey claim say you no dey cheat on ur guy. My sister, Abeg you be MTN customer care agent?
.

• You ask a girl for what she wants, she tells you money and you are angry. Abeg, Were you expecting her to say wisdom & understanding?
.
• You dey carry your girlfriend go club before you marry am, after you marry her finish , you wan stop her

BLOND'S APPENDICITIS

A blonde has sharp pains in her side, so she goes to the hospital. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD

To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.

When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, her husband dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen,

ABC

Johnbull had just learned his ABCs and was very scared of reciting them in front of his class.
He stood in front of the class trembling and began.
"A B C D E F G H I J L K M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z."
His teacher said,

THE BOSS

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''

The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''

''What about the green one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''

''What about the red one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''

The man says, ''What does HE do?''

Ben and his Father at Graduation Ceremony

Ben’s father accompanied him to his school end-of-year awards party.

As they sat watching amidst loud ovations, the beneficiaries were called to the podium for their awards.

The following conversation ensued:

Announcer: Best student in sciences, the winner is Christopher.

Father: (Applauds and eyes Ben scornfully) See correct children!

Announcer: Best student in commercial studies; the winner is Michael.

Father: (Hisses and eyes Ben) See correct children.

Announcer: Best student in Arts and the winner is Helen.

Father: (fuming with anger) See correct children!!.

And so, all the awards were presented without any going to Ben.

At the end of the event, they left and went to the car park but as his dad got ready to start the car, the engine refused to respond.

He opened the bonnet and touched a few things but his efforts did not yield any response so they resorted to pushing it. Just as they got to the exit of the school, the rickety car sparked up.

Exhausted and profusely sweating, Ben rested on the gate just as his mates were driving off with their parents in Hummer, Jeep, Sequia, Infinity, Escalade, Bentley, Lincoln Navigator, Range Rover and other exotic cars.

All of a sudden, Ben burst into laughter.

His puzzled father asked,’what’s so funny?’

Dumb dad

I told my dad today that someone got shot and died
And my dad was like, “With what?”
I wanted to reply, ‘With cutlass’, but then I remembered he is still going pay my tuition fee next year.

question of the DAY

What can 5Naira buy in your area?????????

Comment and let know what you can use the note to buy!!!

TEST

How fast can you
fill these words?
1) S _ X
2) _ _ NDOM
3) F _ _ K
4) P _ N _ S
5) PU _ S _
6) BOO _ S
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JOKE OF THE DAY

REAL NAME: LAUGH AWAY YOUR SORROW
NICKNAME : LAUGHAYS
HOBBIES: Collecting teeth from
live lions,
catching bullets with bare hands, jogging up
and down mountain Everest, playing
with the
tail of a cobra.
MY RECORDS: Fought with a
dinosaur and broke its neck, skinned a crocodile
alive, held
breathe under water for 2months,
3weeks,
6hours, 5mins and 45seconds.... traveled around the world in a day
GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS:

Tacher vs Students

TEACHER: Hannah , give me a sentence starting with '
I. '
HANNAH: I is...
TEACHER: No, Hannah ...... always say, 'I am.'
HANNAH: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet'
_______________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped
down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Peter , do you know why his father didn't
punish him?

L A U G H ! L A U G H !! L A U G H ! ! !

One day, Ben went to church to pray.
God appeared and asked "Ben what do you wish for"?
Ben replied "God, please I want to drive a big car with plenty of girls in it"
God exclaimed. "Amen, may your wish be done".
Currently, Ben is now

MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH AN ONLINE GIRL

Girls are cheap.
I have tried to convince this girl on facebook and BBM to visit me but she always tell me that she is busy. Her profile
pictures was always tempting her curves, her boobs name it everything make sense.
I decided to take it to another level at my own expense. . .
Hope you know what I mean?
So at last I was able to decode her to give me her number, I called her immediately to confirm if it was really her number.
We talked for a while and I discovered that she just lives a stone throw from my place, I said within me;
"Kai see food oo"
As an award winning womanizer convincing her was just like counting A,B,C.
She promised me that she will visit me next week Thursday.
Thursday seemed too far but that was just the price to enter her honey pot.
Thursday finally came, I called her around 7:30 just to confirm if she was still coming. She said

Laughing time

Laugh wan kill me...
A psychiatrist wanted to know how many of his
patients have been cured of madness, so he
assembled them in a classroom and drew a big car
on the board.
He then told the class that if anyone could push the car on the board, that person would
receive a gift of N20,000 and would be free to go
home.
On hearing this, they all rushed to the board to
push the car except one young lady who remained
in her seat at the back smiling. The psychiatrist with joy and excitement on his face
seeing that somebody has been cured of madness
went to her and asked,

Job Interview. MP

OFFICER:- What is your name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- In full please
Monday:- Monday Paul
OFFICER:- Your father's name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What does that mean?
Monday:- Matthias Paul
OFFICER:- Your native place?
Monday : M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What's that?
Monday:- Mkpuma Province

Admission

I can stop laugh oooo..A student had failed
JAMB 5 times..
One day,she
  traveled2 visit her friend in Osun State University, she
fell
sick & was admitted to a hospital there. She later called her mum & said...
SHE: Hello ma..
MUM: That place is silent,where are u?
SHE: I'm in OSU.. MUM: thanks to God oo
SHE: I was admitted.. MUM: thanks you Jesus you 

have been admitted 

Vacancy! Vacancy!! Vacancy!!!

Are u 18yrs & above? Do u have a valid Int'l passport or a voter's card? Can u speak English & any other language? Are u looking for a 9am-3pm job with a monthly salary of #850,000 and a weekly allowance of 150,000? No work
during weekends & u only have to work half day on Fridays?
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Gorillas vs Mr. & Mrs Akpors

Mr. and Mrs. Akpors at a Zoo walk past a
gorilla enclosure.
Mrs. Akpors: Dear, do u know that gorillas
are
the only animals which resemble men in
their behavior? Look, seeing that no one is looking, I’ll
expose one of my breasts to it & see how
horny it gets just like men
do.
Mrs. Akpors then exposes one of her
breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla gets excited
and
grabs the bars
of the enclosure as if it wanted to break
free. ‘U See,’ says Mrs. Akpors, ‘Now, I
know why
you react the way you do; men can’t
control
their animal
instincts just like gorillas can’t, Men and
gorillas are d same.’ Akpors replied: ‘Now expose both breasts
and
let us see what happens.’
Mrs. Akpors exposes both breasts to the
gorilla and it gets very excited and is now
desperately trying to escape from the enclosure.
Akpors says: ‘This is incredible, now, pull
your
skirt up, turn around and expose your
bum and let us see
what happens!’ Mrs Akpors pulls her skirt up, turns
around
with her bum to the gorilla, which by now
was extremely

True or False

Saw this Post somewhere..... Don’t know
how true it is shaaa.
I leave you to judge!!!!
- Girls called SANDRA too dey do over-
sabi..
- Girls called IJEOMA sabi do shakara.. - Girls called JULIET are usually slim..
- Girls called ADA too dey Fat..
- Girls called ONYINYE sabi dupe guys..
- Girls called CHINENYE too dey fine..
- Girls called AMAKA sabi gossip..
- Girls called NNENNA are trustworthy.. - Girls called JENNIFER sabi book..
- Girls called CHINELO sabi form holy
holy
- Girls called MAUREEN are over
demanding.
- Girls called UJU too like money.. -